You know the one where it's just me, raw and real, with no filters, no masks.
A space that's entirely mine.
A space I keep locked up most of the time, even from myself. But today, I let myself in.
And, in that space, I whispered to myself, "It's okay to feel. It's okay to cry. It's okay to let those tears fall."
There wasn't any specific reason or sudden trigger. No heartbreaking news, no dramatic event.
Just this, weight. A weight that felt like it had been sitting on my chest for ages.
I wanted to cry, really cry—loud and messy, the kind that shakes your whole body. I wanted to scream too, let out all the anger, sadness and pain that I've been carrying for so long.
But I couldn't. Of course, I couldn't.
I couldn't scream. I couldn't even cry properly.
I sat there feeling everything at once. And all those emotions stayed stuck. Right there in my throat. A knot I couldn't swallow, couldn't untangle.
I sat there with this desperate need to be alone—but at the same time, I wished I wasn't.
I wanted someone to sit with me, someone who wouldn't say anything, wouldn't try to fix it, but would just be there.
So, I sat quietly in my space, feeling everything. I didn't cry like I thought I would. I didn't scream like I wanted to.
But being there, letting myself just be, made me feel a little lighter.
And, for now, I'll just sit with it. Maybe tomorrow I'll be stronger again, or maybe I'll be here in this quiet space of vulnerability.
Either way, I'm learning that it's okay to feel. It's okay to let go, even if just for a moment.
